History does not repeat itself, the historians repeat one another and hence the lack of vagaries in their reportage. Add to this vexatious stew the fact that history has been kind to numerous personalities who do not deserve their place in the annals of history, is absolutely stupefying. Let me outline the most over-rated personalities in accordance with my infinite wisdom:

M. K. Gandhi: Revered as the ‘Father of the nation’ by the ignoble Indians, this semi nude beggar is credited with the Indian Independence. Jesus Christ on a Harley Davidson, Hitler should be credited more than this old ascetic for India’s freedom. If Hitler had not kept the Brits busy during WWII, Gandhi’s antics would have been futile. He is solely accountable for the partition of India. This ascetic also happens to be a documented paedophile, who let his wife die of malaria sans medical treatment but alas when he too contracted the deadly disease he had no qualms in taking modern medical treatment; he denied education to his children; one of whom finally became an alcoholic. History bestows upon him the dubious honour as the proponent of ‘ahimsa’ or non-violence. Well, an emaciated, aging man; if he shall not extol the virtues of non-violence then what shall he glorify? Moreover I believe Jesus Christ was the first advocate of ‘turning the other cheek’; in more recent times, it was Leo Tolstoy who preached about non-violence and hence Gandhi has nothing to his credit. The only saving grace to the ‘Gandhi’ legacy is the Great Indira Gandhi.

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Fondly referred to as Che Guevara by communist swines world wide, it is ironic that the ubiquitous communist firebrand of the the sixties is the quintessential capitalistic brand of the moment. He was a complete failure in life, he was manipulated by Fidel Castro to do his bidding. Guevara, contrary to popular beliefs was neither a military nor an economic genius. His African expedition was severely flawed which eventually resulted in his assassination. His rise to fame, the battle of Santa Clara is also disputed, dissidents within the rebellion claim of bribes being offered to the opposing Batista forces for a swift surrender. His brief stints as the President of the National Bank of Cuba and Minister of Industries was of catastrophic proportions which plunged Cuba deeper into poverty. To commemorate his achievements, I have designed a T-shirt, I hope you are turning in your grave as I wear it you communist scum.

Diana Frances Spencer: One of the most photographed personalities of the twentieth century, a high class courtesan who slept with everyone from the royal bodyguards to the horse trainer and maybe even the horse; but you have to give credit where credit is due for this haute couture hooker was definitely a looker and maybe that explains the medias fixation with chronicling her every move. But it is ironic, that the same renowned looks could not keep her husband from straying over to another woman. Her fight for the abolition of land mines is unfulfilled to this day with the major players still refusing to sign the Ottawa treaty banning the use and production of land mines. She was a certifiable basket case who has conceded to throwing herself down the stairs when pregnant with her first born. Towards the latter years of her life, she ended up being nothing more than a member of Harrods harem.

Malcolm Little: Malcolm X was the epitome of reverse racism, the man who dared to steal Martin Luther King’s thunder from the black civil rights movement. He was more pernicious to the cause than he was useful. He was spiteful and spewed hatred day in and day out. His only contribution to the civil rights movement was the division of blacks. The son of a clinically insane mother; he too was diagnosed as insane; this insanity is most evident in his speeches and in his life in general. Had he subjugated himself to Dr. Martin Luther King; the black civil movement would have been more fruititious. His division of blacks not only turned the tide on the civil rights movement but also on his life for he was assassinated not by a white supremacist but by a black man wielding a sawed off shotgun. I dedicate a song by one of my favourite bands to him, ‘die die die my darling die’ - Metallica.

Winston Churchill: Barring his oratorical prowess; Churchill was just an obese, tobacco filled racist imbecile who would have had 8 pegs of whisky by lunch time. He was viciously racist and approved of the use of chemical warfare against the so-called ’savage races’. He opined that the Palestinians and the Australian Aborigines had no recourse to a homeland for they had been subdued by ’superior forces’. History seems to have selective amnesia when it comes to the facts regarding the Battle of Gallipoli debacle under Churchill’s command wherein over 150,000 soldiers lost their lives and another 300,000 were seriously wounded. All the spoils go to the victor and hence the reason for history being extra kind to him. If and when I visit England, two things will be high on my itinerary, the foremost being, kissing the sacred Anfield football ground at Liverpool and the latter would be to desecrate this English trash’s grave.

Share This