I was just reading an article about how a homosexual was mistreated and subjected to extreme prejudice in one of the elite navy corps of the world. After reading the article and pondering on the said topic I have only one word of advice for the queer folk - “STRAIGHTen up or ship out”.

The armed forces are not for the queer folk, when you are in the armed forces you want your fellow soldier to back you up and not paw your back. The armed forces are about morale and cohesiveness. How can it be one cohesive unit with a lack of trust in each other? The army is all about sharing your space, its about moving as one cohesive unit. Personnel have to share rooms and even shower openly in public places and having someone who is ‘left handed’ in the midst ruins that cohesiveness which is paramount to the military doctrine.The presence of a known homosexual within the unit could hamper the morale and camaraderie on account of ostracism and tensions thereof.

One could argue that then women too should not be a part of the armed forces. Well, I couldn’t disagree more. Women are an integral part of the armed forces; moreover they don’t share the same barracks as men. Now if the queer folk were to be segregated into different barracks the pro debaters would have an iota of more substance to their stance. On second thought it is not a feasible idea for the queer folk are known to sue at the drop of a hat for discrimination, so they might not be open to segregation… but then again why not eh?… a barrack full of queer folk, an open orgy!!!! come in come in; the military beckons.

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I have always had an inherent dislike of all personnel related to the travel and tourism industry and especially so; the cabin crew. They strut around with almost as arrogance as moi. The majority of them are just either graduates or diploma holders without any other credentials to their names, the only thing going for them are their long legs which the hooker down your local alley could compete with. My prejudice was initiated as a result of an old and bitter experience I once had. A few years back I was travelling to Qatar, an elderly gentleman who I presumed never travelled by air before happened to be seated next to me. I did my best to pacify the elder statesman but there was this air hostesses who could not help being rude to him.

Rule no one is that, ‘thou shalt not disrespect the elderly’. You break this rule in my presence and you are in line for some stern reprimand. I was already bored and cranky, the air-hostess’ disrespect gave me the perfect moral cover to be myself at my very best. I started out by calling out to her loudly as a ‘waitress’ and after she obliged my request by bringing or should I say ‘fetching’ a glass of water, I proceeded to tip her with small change in open view which resulted in laughter from all quarters of the aeroplane. The adrenaline started to flow, I had gone from 0 to arrogant in under 5 seconds flat and was all pumped up but alas I could not catch her in my aisle for the rest of the flight. Since then I have always had an aversion to the cabin crew. I travel by air at the most only twice a year and hence I don’t have to come across the cabin crew’s holier than thou attitude. My pet a.k.a my little sister will be leaving back after her small vacation so I guess I am bound to run into a few of them at the airport. I really can’t comprehend why they are held in high esteem by the ignoble populace; after all they are just glorified waiters and waitresses and nothing more.

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S.U.V’s - either you love them or you hate them, there can be no liking them. This is the same case with me, people either love me or hate me. I have been an SUV afficianado since I could remember. The first one to the present one, all my wheels have been four wheel offroaders, the first one being the Mahindra MM540 and the present one being the Toyota Rav4.

A lot has been said about SUV’s and I would like to demystify the myths behind the tales of the sports utility vehicles. It is said that in case of a head on collision with a SUV the probability of fatalities in the other vehicle is quite high but then again when I am having a head on collision with another vehicle, whose life is more important? Mine or his?…. mine of course. I concede, the propensity of SUV’s to roll-over in case of accidents is comparatively higher than normal salons but with the latest innovations and anti-roll cages the adverse effects can be mitigated.

SUV’s are also accused of polluting the environment. Granted an average SUV consumes more fuel than your average salon but why are SUV’s isolated out in this regard? Why do Ferrari’s and Mclaren’s with 12 cylinders run scot free while your poor SUV’s with 6 cylinders are singled out as the causes of global warming?

Agreed, the operating costs of a SUV is also comparatively higher than their puny salon counterparts but people still buy them for its our choice, the same choice that smokers have in spending their hard earned money in killing themselves, but hey we SUV lovers just spend it on wheels and at most we will kill someone else and not ourselves.

If you were to argue with me that SUV’s are not fast, I would request you to take a look at the new Porsche Cayenne, this baby can go from 0-100 in around 5 seconds flat or the new Range Rover which is the personification of class on wheels. So all your old arguments against the purchase of a SUV are passe.

Anti SUV sites like Fuh2.com amuse me, they state that men who buy SUV’s are lacking in some part of their anatomy and my response to such morons is - “balls to you mate” (pun intended)… the reason for buying a SUV is just attitude, predominantly the belief that might is right. For me personally I really enjoy the elevated driving position and also the big cargo area for all my goodies. Now if you think I am the poster boy for the SUV’s that you would like to kill; what are you going to do about it? Run me over in your Mini-Cooper??.. I think not!!

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