My first and last recollection of ever being nervous; albeit a little vague, dates back to almost 18 years. Circa Christmas time and being a little angelic kid, I was roped in to play ‘Joseph’ in the Christmas Play. I remember standing behind the stage with an extreme case of stage fright. The class teacher walked up to me and told me that those in the crowd were also little kids, she told me to focus on them individually and then I would realize that I was better than them. I learned to harness the power associated with looking down upon people to my full advantage.This was the genesis; the metamorphosis into the ultimate narcissist.

The prerogative of being a narcissist is that its comparatively easy to mask ones emotions. Feelings of pain and sorrow can be kept at bay with the ‘Narcissistic block’. I can filter out detrimental emotions by thoughts of grandeur such as buying a new Rolex. By being able to have the upper hand on ones emotions, its comparatively easier to attain success albeit at a cost. But on the rare occasion when the narcissistic block fails you, one is left in limbo for he/she will be in unchartered territory. It actually breaks the person for not only are you not in control of your own situation but also beset with painful emotions.

At present I am passing through a similar stage, I am unable to block the grief, its the first death anniversary of my baby girl, my princess. She was and will forever be more important that everything else in life and hence thoughts of buying a new rolex or other images of grandeur cannot block the pain. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves even in the most diverse of situations, I remember going to hospitals for her regular checkups and I would propose to doctors on behalf of my grans, on one occasion we even had a red rose which she gave to a doctor. She somehow could differentiate between the sound of my jeep amongst a hundred others. She had a very good rapport with my sincere friends who too would pamper her with ice creams and chocolates. She was not my grandmother, she was my little daughter. At any point of the day I could turn to her for a big warm hug and presently thats what I find most wanting. I want to have a little baby girl of my own now, she would be christened Sara, after my princess. She would be daddy’s little girl; I would turn her into my own little Ann Coulter like I turned my pious old grandmother into a mischievous teenybopper. I know you are watching over me from above and I would just like to say that I miss you and still love you from the bottom of my heart. I reckon a temporary hiatus from the blogosphere is in order till I am back to my arrogant best.

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History does not repeat itself, the historians repeat one another and hence the lack of vagaries in their reportage. Add to this vexatious stew the fact that history has been kind to numerous personalities who do not deserve their place in the annals of history, is absolutely stupefying. Let me outline the most over-rated personalities in accordance with my infinite wisdom:

M. K. Gandhi: Revered as the ‘Father of the nation’ by the ignoble Indians, this semi nude beggar is credited with the Indian Independence. Jesus Christ on a Harley Davidson, Hitler should be credited more than this old ascetic for India’s freedom. If Hitler had not kept the Brits busy during WWII, Gandhi’s antics would have been futile. He is solely accountable for the partition of India. This ascetic also happens to be a documented paedophile, who let his wife die of malaria sans medical treatment but alas when he too contracted the deadly disease he had no qualms in taking modern medical treatment; he denied education to his children; one of whom finally became an alcoholic. History bestows upon him the dubious honour as the proponent of ‘ahimsa’ or non-violence. Well, an emaciated, aging man; if he shall not extol the virtues of non-violence then what shall he glorify? Moreover I believe Jesus Christ was the first advocate of ‘turning the other cheek’; in more recent times, it was Leo Tolstoy who preached about non-violence and hence Gandhi has nothing to his credit. The only saving grace to the ‘Gandhi’ legacy is the Great Indira Gandhi.

Ernesto Guevara de la Serna: Fondly referred to as Che Guevara by communist swines world wide, it is ironic that the ubiquitous communist firebrand of the the sixties is the quintessential capitalistic brand of the moment. He was a complete failure in life, he was manipulated by Fidel Castro to do his bidding. Guevara, contrary to popular beliefs was neither a military nor an economic genius. His African expedition was severely flawed which eventually resulted in his assassination. His rise to fame, the battle of Santa Clara is also disputed, dissidents within the rebellion claim of bribes being offered to the opposing Batista forces for a swift surrender. His brief stints as the President of the National Bank of Cuba and Minister of Industries was of catastrophic proportions which plunged Cuba deeper into poverty. To commemorate his achievements, I have designed a T-shirt, I hope you are turning in your grave as I wear it you communist scum.

Diana Frances Spencer: One of the most photographed personalities of the twentieth century, a high class courtesan who slept with everyone from the royal bodyguards to the horse trainer and maybe even the horse; but you have to give credit where credit is due for this haute couture hooker was definitely a looker and maybe that explains the medias fixation with chronicling her every move. But it is ironic, that the same renowned looks could not keep her husband from straying over to another woman. Her fight for the abolition of land mines is unfulfilled to this day with the major players still refusing to sign the Ottawa treaty banning the use and production of land mines. She was a certifiable basket case who has conceded to throwing herself down the stairs when pregnant with her first born. Towards the latter years of her life, she ended up being nothing more than a member of Harrods harem.

Malcolm Little: Malcolm X was the epitome of reverse racism, the man who dared to steal Martin Luther King’s thunder from the black civil rights movement. He was more pernicious to the cause than he was useful. He was spiteful and spewed hatred day in and day out. His only contribution to the civil rights movement was the division of blacks. The son of a clinically insane mother; he too was diagnosed as insane; this insanity is most evident in his speeches and in his life in general. Had he subjugated himself to Dr. Martin Luther King; the black civil movement would have been more fruititious. His division of blacks not only turned the tide on the civil rights movement but also on his life for he was assassinated not by a white supremacist but by a black man wielding a sawed off shotgun. I dedicate a song by one of my favourite bands to him, ‘die die die my darling die’ - Metallica.

Winston Churchill: Barring his oratorical prowess; Churchill was just an obese, tobacco filled racist imbecile who would have had 8 pegs of whisky by lunch time. He was viciously racist and approved of the use of chemical warfare against the so-called ’savage races’. He opined that the Palestinians and the Australian Aborigines had no recourse to a homeland for they had been subdued by ’superior forces’. History seems to have selective amnesia when it comes to the facts regarding the Battle of Gallipoli debacle under Churchill’s command wherein over 150,000 soldiers lost their lives and another 300,000 were seriously wounded. All the spoils go to the victor and hence the reason for history being extra kind to him. If and when I visit England, two things will be high on my itinerary, the foremost being, kissing the sacred Anfield football ground at Liverpool and the latter would be to desecrate this English trash’s grave.

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Billions of dollars spend and billions more earmarked to combat this disease and the aids epidemic has hitherto show signs of abating. With their increasing numbers, the aids patients have just become another minority interest group which has to be appeased by the politicians. When you have scores of thousands of HIV patients it only makes sense to cater to their whims so as to increase the vote bank.

I have no sympathy for aids patients; for it is not contagious in a manner as the common cold. The Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome is a sexually transmitted disease. Why should I feel sorry for someone who could not excercise control over his/her hormones? Moreover why should I let the government divert part of my taxes to funding programs to help those who cannot make monogamous commitments to their spouse/partner? The crux of the matter is that if you take infidelity out of the equation then the proportionate decrease in the aids epidemic is nearly 70%. Why do I have to pay for someone else infidelity. Granted, aids is a STD but it is also transmitted through faulty blood transfusions and passed on at birth; my sympathies are with them but such cases are only minimal and predominantly it is still passed on through intercourse. So why is it that the onus is on society? It’s high time for the aids patients to step up to the plate and take responsibility for their actions rather than drowning in self pity.

If they continue to play the ‘victim’ card, society will be forced into ‘medical cleansing’, burning of all aids patients would be a good start. In the mideval ages, there was a similar killer viz. the plague and it too was uncurable, so those inflicted with it were burned. Reverting to the past to preserve the future is advisable in this context.

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When I had initially submitted my blog to theweblogreview.com for review, I did have my apprehensions whether my ego would be unscathed after the review. Well, it not only has come out intact, it has also multiplied in size after having received full five stars and being nominated to the featured sites list. I shall quote the review ad verbatim:

I had mixed initial thoughts as I began reading through the blog. I noticed there were a lot of posts referring to America, which there is nothing on the blog pointing to a tie to America. The author was very intriguing and pulled me into reading almost every article he had posted. I felt this site was interesting and honest. The author wrote about many different subjects and brought a lot of things to light.

This blog is a group of feelings posted by the author on many different topics. I felt his articles to be thought out, even though he claims in his disclaimer page that they are spur of the moment. I think the author ponders over his thoughts prior to blogging. His topics range from Walmart to Michael Jackson. SUVs to other tech toys that he has purchased or pondered over.

The design of the site was very elegant. It had a professional feel and look to it. This layout and design helps keep readers on the site for there are not annoying advertisements or tons of pictures. It was easy on the eyes. Its layout was just overall awesome.

I loved how he told the feelings of a true person. Rather than just ranting and raving he made it interesting. He claims to be arrogant or at least he is referred to as arrogant. You can see arrogance in some places, but overall a good read.

I would recommend everyone to visit this site. It appears to put in words what most people feel. I know it did for me personally. Good Job! Keep up the good work. I would make one suggestion: I noticed that when you started your blog you posted articles more frequently, then as time went on you gradually lowered the amount of posts in a month. I know blogs can be time consuming, but with your talent and interesting articles I would like to see more in quantity, while keeping the same quality.

-This site was reviewed on 2005-09-01 by mrmaggoo.
-They felt this site belonged in the Personal category.
-mrmaggoo felt that this site deserved a rating of 5.

The reviewer, ‘mr magoo’ was spot on and I do have to concede to his criticism of decline in number of posts. I have actually made a concerted effort to limit the number of posts to two a month. This is on account of the pressures of work and also it helps me to have a better discourse with the readers.

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It was the year 1984, Unadulterated Arrogance was then a tiny toddler of just 6 years of age. It also happened to be the first day of school. Before the end of the day I remember being pulled up by the teacher and being told to be be nice to another kid; to which I innocently replied,” why should I for he is not my friend?” Two decades later and hitherto I am yet to find a cogent answer to my question.

I am a person who is either your best friend or your worst enemy. Why is it that our society is based around a facade of lies, why do people act nice in front of each other and then squall behind their backs? Why go through all the trouble of putting up a facade, if you don’t like someone, if you are not close to someone then be out with it in the open.

I concede, what I am advocating does not hold water in the professional sphere of life. A consummate professional is one who can put up a welcoming face even to the most unruly of clients. To succeed professionally one has to be nice to one and sundry. I for one am one of the ‘nicest humans’ you will encounter in the professional walks of life. God knows how much of an effort I put into it. But your personal life is a different ball game altogether, why be nice to those people who you don’t like or care about. I for one certainly don’t and the only adverse affect of the same has been that I am labelled arrogant. But then again even if I were to be labelled nice by one and all; what would I do with their certificate of being nice? It has no monetary value, it has no sentimental value, then what does one get from taking the effort of being nice to people you don’t care about?

With acquaintances it should be just a ‘you scratch my back, I scratch your back’ policy. With close friends or people you care about, one should take the extra effort. I am very close to my friends and family. I take that extra effort of being nice that would otherwise be wasted on someone you don’t like or care about. The net result is that you tend to have everlasting relationships with 10% of the people you meet in life and the other 90% will be gunning for your life. But when alls said and done, its those people in the 10% bracket whose love and affection mean something, so I feel justified in my stance.

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Yachting over the Bermuda triangle or diving in the Loch Ness is not on my immediate itinerary and hence let me clearly express my indifference to the mysteries associated with the same. I am dwelling more on the everyday mysteries of life, the chances of solving the same are equally as hard as having a cup of coffee with the Loch Ness Monster.

• I am unable to comprehend why the most desirable women in the world fall for the most vile of all jerks. Why do nice females always tend to get hooked up with abusive partners? Well I guess it really must be that though good guys go to heaven, bad guys get to go everywhere.
• Why do most men on the streets make lewd comments at women? Do they expect that such behaviour would result in love at first sight? Such behaviour is utterly demeaning and shows a lack of class and proletarian upbringing.
• No matter how big the plane crash, they somehow retrieve the black-box unscathed. Why not make the whole plane out of the same substance or make enough room in the black box for a few people to crawl into?
• Why do women wear uncomfortable apparel such as high heels? Its so awkward to strut around in them and to top it all prolonged usage of the same can result in a health hazard.
• How is it so easy for somebody to fall in love and out of it at the drop of a hat? For me to get emotionally close to someone takes a long time but I am seeing everyone else falling in and out of love in the flash of a second.
• Why has no one invented cat flavoured dog food? It is so hard to take your dog around the suburbs to find a cat, a cat flavoured dog biscuit would solve us dog lovers problem.

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No, this is not another shameless Opera plug, Opera beats Mozilla Firefox hands down; there is no competition per se for the firebadger’s audience are the geek masses whereas Opera is patronized by the geek classes.

The firefox killer is actually the next avatar of Microsoft Internet Explorer. Reversing a longstanding Microsoft policy, Bill Gates issued a statement that the company will ship an update to its browser separately from the next major version of Windows. A beta, or test, version of Internet Explorer 7.0 will debut this summer. Leaked photos of Internet Explorer 7.0 are doing the rounds on the net. From what I can gather, Internet explorer 7.0 will have support for Tabs, a pop-up blocker, full RSS support and better security features.

The average Firefox user, wants just the bare additions to Internet Explorer 6.0 which will be incorporated in the next release of Internet Explorer. Firefox users who have become hardcore power-users will have already shifted base to Opera and it will be their preferred browser. With Mozilla facing security lapses and the Internet explorer upping its game, I’d say that a majority of the ignoble populace who currently tout Firefox as the next best thing since sliced bread will revert back to Internet Explorer.

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A thirty year mystery behind the true identity of the informant code named ‘Deep Throat’ has been revealed. Ironically it was Vanity Fair who came out with the expose as opposed to the Washington Post, the daily that broke the bureaucrats in the 70’s with aid from ‘deep throat’.

Mark Felt, former deputy director of the FBI, was the infamous ‘Deep Throat’. Mark Felt was responsible for leaking the misdeeds of the White House and the then president Richard Nixon to the Washington Post which resulted in the Watergate Scandal and which eventually led to Nixon’s resignation.

Rather than pronouncing him as an American hero, Mark Felt should be sentenced to death for his role in the fiasco which held a whole nation to ransom. He broke the most sacred covenant, that of a fiduciary nature. A fiduciary relationship exists between a father and a son, a teacher and a pupil, a priest and his disciple, a govt. employee and the government. This trust is not to be broken no matter what. By breaking this fiduciary relationship, Mark Felt has disgraced himself for ever.

As the No 2 man in the FBI, it was his duty to uphold the prestige of the institute and the government, which was his foremost duty. There are other civil and governmental organisations like ‘Internal Affairs’ who would be bound by duty to bring the misdeeds of Nixon to light. Moreover his diatribe against Nixon was more of a personal vendetta than anything else, retribution for having overlooked him as the Director of the FBI. If he felt that he did the right thing, then why wait 30 years, to reach his twilight years and then come out in the open?

In this whole fiasco, I have respect only for the two journalists, Woodward and Bernstein who kept their end of the bargain by not disclosing their source; they maintained their fiduciary relationship between that of a journalist and his source. If Mark Felt thinks that, being in his nineties he cannot be held accountable for his actions, he is ‘dead’ wrong. If His Excellency Augusto Pinochet can be tried for crimes against humanity in his twilight years then so can Mark Felt. He should be tried for treason, I hereby issue a fatwa, a bullet through the head should suffice.

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Flower power is a faux pas now. With the advent of the new millennium, ‘bare all’, ‘booze all’ is passé and is deemed ‘uncool’. This is a major problem for youth worldwide as it is the birth-right of teeny-boppers to rebel against all set norms of society.

In a world dominated with booze and sleaze how does one rebel? How does one stand apart from the crowd. The 60’s witnessed total anarchy, uncontrolled usage of drugs and alcohol, this was how the youth of yore expressed their rebellious sentiments against an orthodox society with full of taboos. But circa 2005, excessive intake of alcohol or drugs will make you just another nameless face amongst a billion others. So, to be ‘different’ the current fad amongst teens is of a religious kind.

If you see a teen walking around with a bible under the arm instead of a bottle of Black Label, you can attribute this to the above mentioned phase, a phase which I have christened (pun intended) ‘Club Congregation’. Majority of the teens now put up a religious act, the hangouts have changed from pubs to churches, grunge music has been substituted with gospel music.

It’s just a phase, sooner or later, ‘club congregation’ will have reached a saturation point once all and sundry take up the bible; and to be unique the teens will resort to something drastically different. But on second thought, ‘club congregation’ is a welcome phase. No matter what the ulterior motives are, how can worshipping of God be destructive albeit if its only temporary. It is welcoming that teens of today are turning to the bible, the holy men have their work cut out for them now, its up to them to keep the teen interest sustained and carve out a few true believers from this flock of wannabe rebels. God Bless.

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The Michael Jackson saga is finally over (for the time being?) , the jury has deliberated their verdict and acquitted Michael on all 14 counts based on the prima facie evidence. I refrain from passing my judgement on the case albeit intuition says that there is no smoke without fire and frankly its been smoking for over two decades. The case revolved around one main thing viz. money.

The prominent hindrance in the successful prosecution of similar cases is not the ‘reasonable doubt of innocence’ of the accused but the ‘reasonable doubt of motives’ of the accuser. Whenever the legal system implicates a star in any criminal case, there is a huge ballyhoo associated with the trial and the accuser stands to make a lot of money. The stars themselves add oil to the fire by reaching out of court settlements.

Out of court settlements in a civil case is most welcome as justice can be administered swiftly without having to wait eons for a judgement. However out of court settlements in a criminal case should be made illegal. An out of court settlement in a criminal case implies only two things; either the accused is truly guilty or the accuser is a gold-digger out to make money. Either way there is a travesty of justice.

Out of court settlements in a criminal case is more like hush money paid to the victim to keep quiet rather than restitution. The Kobe Bryant case, Michael Jackson case; in all these cases the jury has had to first decide if the accuser is out to make money or is interested in justice. If Out of court settlements were made illegal, the accuser who comes forward would not benefit monetarily and hence there would be more substance to the claim. Moreover, with an out of court settlement the accuser on receipt of payment, signs a quitclaim and any criminal cases against the accused are barred with a retrospective effect. Thus if you rape someone and you have enough money, one can walk away scott-free and be out on the prowl for the next victim while the government pulls up a chair and watches the ensuing drama haplessly.

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It is my bloganiversary, am an year old toddler in the blogosphere and keeping in line with the normal flamboyance, what better way to celeberate the birthday than with a new theme. Imported all the entries and comments from Blogger, all the plugins have been tested. The flow of the design, the colour combo are all immaculate, this movie has just hit the theatres.

A few minor quirks here and there are still remaining to be sorted out, it will take another round of tweaking before I can call it a day. Blogrolls and a few other items are yet to be imported. I would love to hear all your suggestions and opinions on the new design. Its alive…. its alive!!

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Ten days have passed since that momentous occasion when Liverpool F.C reclaimed their rightful position among the elites of European soccer  and it still has not sunk in. Yes, we are the champions, winning the Champions League for a fifth time is no mean feat. Being a Liverpool supporter since I was 12, I cannot express my joy in our triumph, in our being crowned the kings of Europe yet again; winning the Champions League for a fifth time means that ‘ol big ears‘ is ours for keeps.

The passion of the Kop is unsurpassed in football, its the fans that make Liverpool what it is. With die hard supporters from Melbourne to Mogadishu the face of the ‘Kop’ is more international than British. The rendition of ‘You will never walk alone’ by the Liverpool supporters will send goose-bumps on the backs of the opposing team. Win we did but the manner in which we won is surreal. Being 3-0 down at half time even the most staunch supporters had forsaken ‘The reds’ but come back we did and with a bang to win on penalties. The A.C Milan team-sheet impresses and intimidates but they lacked the hunger that we had for glory, this was one chance to redeem ourselves for not putting in a good performance in the league and ‘The Reds’ welcomed this opportunity with open arms.

It was destiny, the coincidences between this final and the last time we won are astonishing. The snatching of victory from the jaws of defeat will make this win forever a part of European soccer folklore. This amazing comeback to overcome all odds and beat the mighty Rossoneri left many pundits proclaiming that God is a Liverpool fan. They are absolutely right for I am, I am.

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There is immense pressure from my folks side as well as the rest of the family for me to get hitched and settled down. It seems the only cure for my psychopathic vibes is to find a sweet little girl and get married. I am working over 15 hours a day and even when I get home; the phone rings non-stop. I am burned out and to be honest it would be nice to come back home to someone, to have someone who can give me a big warm hug, someone to cuddle up with. I am afraid of commitments and hence desisted on many a occasion but alas the time has finally come. Fidelity and loyalty are of utmost importance to me and I will be on the lookout for these traits in my quest; I concede, work will not keep me going round the clock, companionship is paramount. Thats it, I’ve decided, I am buying a Rottweiler.

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Umpteen times have I come across sites which displayed a Makepovertyhistory.org banner and hitherto owing to good judgement I refrained from clicking on it; but alas today against my better judgement I clicked on it and went to their site and predictably so the site champions the cause of the poor and the deprived; well its a known fact that I too have my own visions of ending world poverty - Help end poverty, eat the poor and the downtrodden!

Ending world poverty is a utopian idea but alas the world we live in is not. If we were to eradicate poverty who would do all the dirty menial jobs? You and me thats who! Poverty is the only cause for a low wage labour pool which we can exploit. If all were equals, if there were no poor people we would have to do our own dirty work, we couldn’t exploit the poor anymore; so ending poverty is not in our best interests. if poverty were to be eradicated, who would buy all the cheap alcohol and other mundane items. What would all the NGO’s do once poverty is eradicated? All the employees of these NGO’s themselves would need to find another occupation. Its a hierarchical society that we live and hence somebody has to be at the bottom, all cannot be at the upper end of the spectrum.

I am an avid proponent of the laissez-faire school of thought and so if the poor are deprived then its their own wrong doing not ours. The only people to be blamed are the poor. The G8 writing off Africa’s debt is not the solution, you or me giving more alms is not the solution, the poor lazy buggers themselves have to get up and start working. The poor remaining poor has got to do more with culture than with economics. The poor are unable to seize the opportunity, this is the outcome of their upbringing and if poverty is to be tackled this is where one should begin. I remember an old adage that my grandfather once told me, “Buy a beggar a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will eat his whole life”. But then again I am more comfortable knowing that there are poor people around who will do my menial jobs. The battle between the bourgeois and the proletariat is a never ending one in which both sides are co-dependent on each other; eradicate one and you eradicate the other. I think I might as well start pleasedontmakepovertyhistory.org.

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I am neither Nostradamus nor am I a gypsy with a crystal ball but this is what I foresee; a year down the line blogger.com will either cease to exist or metamorphosise; into a paid only avatar and both the outcomes as I predict; are bleak for the blogosphere.

Granted, I am not renown for my powers of clairvoyance yet I still paint this picture of doom with certainty and I do this on account of my understanding of economics. At present I don’t see a valid revenue model when it comes to blogger.com. I don’t see any sources of income for a service of this magnitude to sustain it in the long run. Yes, Blogger.com has Google Inc. as its sugar daddy and maybe Google Inc. might tout blogger.com as a ‘loss leader’ but I am highly sceptical of this practice in the long run.

Blogger at present is not supported by adwords or any other forms of advertisement to rake in the moolah; it also does not offer a premium paid only service so the inflow of funds is minimal or non existent. In the coming months blogger will have to find ways to break even and the only options available are to either put up intrusive ads or offer a paid premium service. There is no such thing as a free lunch and hence I am quite certain that blogger.com will too shift towards a paid premium service. Now a word of advice to all the ignoble populace using blogger is to back up all your old posts onto your computer so that in the event blogger goes bust or paid you will have an archive of your old posts which you can then migrate to any other service.

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I was just reading an article about how a homosexual was mistreated and subjected to extreme prejudice in one of the elite navy corps of the world. After reading the article and pondering on the said topic I have only one word of advice for the queer folk - “STRAIGHTen up or ship out”.

The armed forces are not for the queer folk, when you are in the armed forces you want your fellow soldier to back you up and not paw your back. The armed forces are about morale and cohesiveness. How can it be one cohesive unit with a lack of trust in each other? The army is all about sharing your space, its about moving as one cohesive unit. Personnel have to share rooms and even shower openly in public places and having someone who is ‘left handed’ in the midst ruins that cohesiveness which is paramount to the military doctrine.The presence of a known homosexual within the unit could hamper the morale and camaraderie on account of ostracism and tensions thereof.

One could argue that then women too should not be a part of the armed forces. Well, I couldn’t disagree more. Women are an integral part of the armed forces; moreover they don’t share the same barracks as men. Now if the queer folk were to be segregated into different barracks the pro debaters would have an iota of more substance to their stance. On second thought it is not a feasible idea for the queer folk are known to sue at the drop of a hat for discrimination, so they might not be open to segregation… but then again why not eh?… a barrack full of queer folk, an open orgy!!!! come in come in; the military beckons.

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I have always had an inherent dislike of all personnel related to the travel and tourism industry and especially so; the cabin crew. They strut around with almost as arrogance as moi. The majority of them are just either graduates or diploma holders without any other credentials to their names, the only thing going for them are their long legs which the hooker down your local alley could compete with. My prejudice was initiated as a result of an old and bitter experience I once had. A few years back I was travelling to Qatar, an elderly gentleman who I presumed never travelled by air before happened to be seated next to me. I did my best to pacify the elder statesman but there was this air hostesses who could not help being rude to him.

Rule no one is that, ‘thou shalt not disrespect the elderly’. You break this rule in my presence and you are in line for some stern reprimand. I was already bored and cranky, the air-hostess’ disrespect gave me the perfect moral cover to be myself at my very best. I started out by calling out to her loudly as a ‘waitress’ and after she obliged my request by bringing or should I say ‘fetching’ a glass of water, I proceeded to tip her with small change in open view which resulted in laughter from all quarters of the aeroplane. The adrenaline started to flow, I had gone from 0 to arrogant in under 5 seconds flat and was all pumped up but alas I could not catch her in my aisle for the rest of the flight. Since then I have always had an aversion to the cabin crew. I travel by air at the most only twice a year and hence I don’t have to come across the cabin crew’s holier than thou attitude. My pet a.k.a my little sister will be leaving back after her small vacation so I guess I am bound to run into a few of them at the airport. I really can’t comprehend why they are held in high esteem by the ignoble populace; after all they are just glorified waiters and waitresses and nothing more.

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S.U.V’s - either you love them or you hate them, there can be no liking them. This is the same case with me, people either love me or hate me. I have been an SUV afficianado since I could remember. The first one to the present one, all my wheels have been four wheel offroaders, the first one being the Mahindra MM540 and the present one being the Toyota Rav4.

A lot has been said about SUV’s and I would like to demystify the myths behind the tales of the sports utility vehicles. It is said that in case of a head on collision with a SUV the probability of fatalities in the other vehicle is quite high but then again when I am having a head on collision with another vehicle, whose life is more important? Mine or his?…. mine of course. I concede, the propensity of SUV’s to roll-over in case of accidents is comparatively higher than normal salons but with the latest innovations and anti-roll cages the adverse effects can be mitigated.

SUV’s are also accused of polluting the environment. Granted an average SUV consumes more fuel than your average salon but why are SUV’s isolated out in this regard? Why do Ferrari’s and Mclaren’s with 12 cylinders run scot free while your poor SUV’s with 6 cylinders are singled out as the causes of global warming?

Agreed, the operating costs of a SUV is also comparatively higher than their puny salon counterparts but people still buy them for its our choice, the same choice that smokers have in spending their hard earned money in killing themselves, but hey we SUV lovers just spend it on wheels and at most we will kill someone else and not ourselves.

If you were to argue with me that SUV’s are not fast, I would request you to take a look at the new Porsche Cayenne, this baby can go from 0-100 in around 5 seconds flat or the new Range Rover which is the personification of class on wheels. So all your old arguments against the purchase of a SUV are passe.

Anti SUV sites like Fuh2.com amuse me, they state that men who buy SUV’s are lacking in some part of their anatomy and my response to such morons is - “balls to you mate” (pun intended)… the reason for buying a SUV is just attitude, predominantly the belief that might is right. For me personally I really enjoy the elevated driving position and also the big cargo area for all my goodies. Now if you think I am the poster boy for the SUV’s that you would like to kill; what are you going to do about it? Run me over in your Mini-Cooper??.. I think not!!

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Walmart has been accused of treading on the toes of their workforce by providing non-competitive compensation packages. Lefties worldwide are waging a war against the behemoth whose only crime is of making customer the king.

The leftist hue and cry for the ‘poor mistreated workforce’ is not without reason. Granted Walmart’s compensation package is nothing to talk about but then again nobody is forcing people to work at Walmart and this is evident from the kilometre long queues for walk-in interviews whenever a new Walmart outlet is opened. Every human being has a price and this intrinsic value is defined by an individual himself taking into consideration his abilities and his present predicament. Nobody will work below their intrinsic price that they themselves have put on their heads. Its no secret that the workers at Walmart are no rocket scientists, they deserve the salary due to them. I am paid well, if I were to go and hump a whore and got a bill from her, my company would write it off as ‘Entertainment Expenses’… Why? because I am good and I am productive.. the not so rocket scientists at Walmart deserve what they get and should stop dreaming of largesse until and unless they are educated and productive.

The middle of the 20th century witnessed a manufacturing boom and it were the manufacturers that decided the price back then but with the advent of entities like Walmart, the retailers are the ones who decide the selling price; the selling price of the retailers in turn is decided directly by the consumers. Selling price of products at Walmart is comparatively cheaper than anywhere else and this is accentuated by a no frills working atmosphere . If all the employees were given a BMW for conveyance, the same overheads would be passed onto the consumer thereby making Walmart less competitive in the retail industry and thus they would be forced to shut shop which would lead to mass unemployment, this would further be a burden on society and these same people will either resort to crime or work for even lower wages till rehabilitation. Profit motive is the only reason behind every economic activity and sooner the lefties realize it, the better it is.

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I am one of those few guys when I say, “Whoah baby, what headlights” I will actually be talking about a car. I have always been enamoured by technology since I could remember. I guess I am a natural born geek. Whenever we would go for vacation, the family would be busy taking in the scenic beauty of the place being visited while I would be busy in the local gadget shops. For a while now, I had been lusting after the Nokia 9500  and finally I decided on some self indulgence and purchased it. I did have some pre-purchase dissonance as to whether I should go for the P910i or the Nokia 9500, the true geek in me advised to opt for the P910i for its lighter, has better battery life and is touch-screen but alas I am not a true geek per se, I am a geek with an attitude, the personification of which is the phone. The Nokia 9500 screams, “I am big, mean and you can’t afford me. I am untouchable mate!!” and that is what drew me to it. The 9500 is an excellent phone and is definitely an extension of my personality in an electronic form. It was love at first sight I tell ya.

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• Scene 1: A well known actor is seen mingling with an up and coming actress in a hotel suite.
• Scene 2: Slowly but steadily he plays his card at debauching her; for services rendered, the well known actor will make the aspiring actress a ’star’
• Scene 3: The upcoming actress is in fact an undercover reporter, the events that unfolded in the hotel room are then splashed across the papers the next day and a tirade against the casting couch in the Movie Industry is on.

Why is it that the tirade against the casting couch in the movie industry is always from the headquarters of the moral police rather than the victims themselves? Well it is so because there are no victims, that is why. When you go to a car showroom to buy a brand new car, you see, you buy what you like,pay for it and then drive away in your dream car. In the movie industry, the struggling actor’s desire is of fame and fortune, the currency used in the purchase of this dream is usually amoral favours. If the aspiring actor/actress is able to achieve their dreams albeit in a shady manner; then why is it that the moral police is crying foul. The aspirant if he/she were sure of their abilities would not succumb to the pressures of the casting couch and would walk the moral high-ground, those who succumb to the pressures are not talented enough to make it on their own and hence owing to lack of confidence they use the amoral currencies at their disposal for the barter involving their dreams.

Casting couch is not immoral, its quid pro quo i.e favours for favour. The actors are not complaining, in exchange for their ’favours’ they benefit from a benevolent godfather who can make them overnight stars; its capitalistic commercialisation at its best. So why is the moral police berating the said practice?.. because there is publicity involved. If it were not so, the moral police would be exercising their clout where it really matters i.e. the cause of the ordinary girl next door who has to go through harassment at her very ordinary job..but no!!!the whole world listens only when stars are involved so lets just forget the hassles of the ordinary girl next door and focus on the already immoral sluts of the movie industry.

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“You insensitive jerk!”, If you are a male aged between 1 and 299, the chances of you being told the same by someone from the opposite sex; be it your mother, wife, girl, sister or even your cleaning lady is a 100 percent. The fairer sex accuse us of insensitivity but are all males insensitive? Is it the genetic make up of us guys that is the cause of this phenomenon?… Is there a special insensitive gene in us?…. well no, its not that we are not insensitive, its just that we don’t see eye to eye with females on what constitutes sensitivity and what does not.

Laughing at the wet eyed females in the theatre when the Titanic has just sunk is not insensitive; its just natural. I mean when you see a group of women crying at the climax of a movie, your natural reaction is to laugh at this absurdity. Women find this insensitive whereas we guys don’t. We just differ with them on certain mundane things which does not merit an iota of attention which they spend hours on. My mother’s driver was ill and being the ’sensitive’ son that I am; I was driving her to work when we saw a huge car wreck. My natural reaction was, ‘Oh no!, the Benz is wrecked!!’… and it started the ball rolling as in, “how insensitive you are ?” .. for heavens sake, even the guy who had the accident must have been more worried about the Merc than himself.. I know I would be… So you see its not that we are not sensitive, we just differ with you on what is sensitive and what is not… and if you still think you know a guy who is completely sensitive, well then, he is either gay or he is trying to sleep with you. The possibility of the latter is a much higher probability mind you.

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During the depths of darkness,
in my deepest despondency
I enter the hitherto unchartered territory;

I see before my eyes a world,
a world full of havoc and destruction
and lo and behold
rises a ruler, a lord, an overlord;
a king who is the epitome of bestiality,
clad in royal robes, and with the sceptre in hand;
with an iron fist he rules over the land.

And in the course of time,
the barren lands are evergreen again,
camaraderie and bonhomie is the order of the day
and in the flash of a second;
I open my eyes, my hands reach for the sceptre
and though I am unable to grasp it,
my thoughts fall upon the vision that was,
which foretold what my destiny is to be.

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There is no international definition of who a child is, so lets draw our conclusions from the definition of an adult.An adult is defined as an individual who has attained the age of majority. In normal circumstances an individual is said to be a major when he/she is of 18 years of age unless if a guardian has been appointed by a court, wherein he/she will attain majority on being 21 years of age. Lets assume 18 years of age as the cutoff point and hence anyone below the age of 18 years is a child and any work done by him/her for consideration is an act of child labour.

So if one were to go by this definition you will be guilty of employing child labour when the kid next door mows your lawn or when the local paper-boy drops your newspaper at your doorstep. But the flimsy minded hippy social workers who head international organizations such as UNICEF and ILO have ever-changing views on the age cutoff point, they sometimes opine that this cutoff point be 15 years and sometimes opine it should be 18. They also distinguish between child-work and child-labour; child-labour is oppressive whereas child-work is not; but alas these definitions of theirs are based on their daily whims and fancies and are ever-changing.

Agreed, every child should have the right to basic education which is deprived by their employers. But stopping child labour is not the answer, hippy social workers fail to realize that by picketing factories that employ child labour they are not only depriving the child of his daily bread but also the income of the factory and the society as a whole.

Protesters often voice concerns about the meager wages paid to children; but in this capitalistic piecemeal system of production, the wages are at par with the production and in most cases the production of a child is not at par with an adult and hence the variance in wages. They fail to realize that by doing away with child labour, the competitive advantage enjoyed by their local industries are neutralized which would result in poverty in the locality, which is the root cause of child labour; but then again these hippies on weed will not most probably be able to spell ‘economics’ so one should not expect them to understand it. Everybody talks about stopping child labour but none of them talk about rehabilitation, once they lose their jobs, who will provide the food?, who will provide the education?. In the individual hierarchy of necessities, food on the table supersedes all other concerns. Rather than protesting child labour, all hippies are requested to address the root causes such as poverty, once these causes are addressed the phenomenon of child labour will cease to exist, so till then please let the kids earn and live in peace.

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The assassination of  Rafiq al-Hariri; the former premier of Lebanon has resulted in a very dicey situation in the middle east. The finger pointing has already begun and presently all the fingers are pointing to Damascus. The Pro Syrian govt. in Lebanon in Cohorts with their Syrian masters have been rumoured to have orchestrated this heinous act. Though the circumstantial evidences indicate the Syrian involvement, the conspiracy theorist in me is screaming that it is the work of Mossad, the Israeli secret service with the direct involvement of the CIA.

The manner in which the hit was carried out doesn’t seem to be the handy work of a few radicals, it was carried out professionally and in all likelihood by a state sponsored intelligence agency. The moment the two words ‘intelligence agency’ props up together; three proper nouns come to mind viz. The CIA, The KGB and MOSSAD. From the trio, The KGB gets the benefit of the doubt for the Russians have nothing to gain from the assassination. It is also to be noted that in the immediate aftermath of the assassination, both the Bush govt. and the Sharon govt. had already vilified Damascus and I am left pondering whether this is a case of red herring.

The Lebanese as well as the Syrians have a lot to lose from the turmoil that follows but the Israelis have all to gain. The assassination has augmented the already soured relations between Beirut and Damascus and the icing on the cake would be if the Lebanese were able to get rid of the Syrian stronghold on Lebanon. However I do feel that though the Americans had prior knowledge of the plot, they might not have participated directly. An intra-Arab war is the best medicine for the Israeli ailment and given the current geo-political situations I can’t but help think that all of Israel’s ailments will find an everlasting cure. If the Mossad and CIA hands are behind the Harriri homicide, then my hats of to them for a well planned operation, if not, well don’t fret for they will have plenty of other opportunities to do some wicked deeds.

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Ahem ahem, I don’t mean those kind of games, I was referring to computer games. As an adolescent, I have had more than my share of computer games and enjoyed every bit of it. But now I am 26 and still am an avid gamer.  I was looking up freudian theories to see the cause of this dysfunction for I am told that , ‘only kids play computer games’… so I was more than happy to read the news of American G.I’s playing with their consoles when away from the battlefield.

An adult gamer is one who has dedicated endless hours to gaming as a teenager and through his college years. However, the adult gamer now has grown-up responsibilities, from employment to family obligations to keeping an active social life - IDGE, Publisher of Gamestar Magazine

I started playing my first game on the Atari, then migrated to the Commodore 64, then a NES system and the rest is history. Over the years I have played a lot of games and I would like to outline my all time top ten games.

• 1. Neverwinter Nights
• 2. Syndicate
• 3. Warcraft III
• 4. Sam and max hit the road.
• 5. Age of empires series
• 6. Need for speed Underground / Porsche Unleashed
• 7. Flashback
• 8. Call of Duty
• 9. Day of the tentacles
• 10. Mortal Kombat series

It is however ironic that most of us adult gamers can now stop drooling over the latest gaming gadgets and games and can actually buy them but alas we can’t spare time from work to actually play the damn thing to our heart’s content … sigh!! That’s life I guess.

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Liberal (n) - A socialistic, dog hating, homo loving, SUV hating, polygamous, atheist, baby killing bastard.
- The Jinuine Dictionary, International Edition, Vol XXVI

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This valentines day was quite memorable. I went on a date with my girl. She is the best girl any guy can have but alas she is also a Scorpio, she is possessive to the core. She won’t let me out of her sight and she gets very jealous of my other social commitments but I don’t mind for without her I won’t be able to live, wont be able to eat; I would wither away in misery. Life would have been more easier had she been more likeable by my family and friends but I can live with the fact that you can’t have your cake and eat it too so I choose to be at her side at the ire of my loved ones. I have managed to live with her shortcomings and shall continue to do so; Everybody calls her a bitch, I call her ‘Work’

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I am not condoning the 9/11 attacks but am just calling a spade a spade. I too think from Prof. Ward Churchill’s  viewpoints but mine is two-way traffic rather than the so called ‘progressive thinker’ who thinks just one way and can’t refrain from obloquy when it comes to his motherland. The attacks on the World Trade Centre was a despicable act; that is beyond question but what is questionable is the legitimacy or the ethics behind the attack on an ostensible civilian structure. When a war is on, the first point of attack will be the command and control structures of the opposing party, the major economic centres being the next in line for annihilation. If one were to go by this rule of warfare, the WTC was a legitimate target; for the economic might of the great US of A was caged behind the erstwhile non-penetrable structure of the World Trade Centre. Another prominent point to be noted is that the world trade centre itself housed offices of the CIA, an act which by itself turned this civilian structure to a military command and control aiding infrastructure and hence a legitimate target for foes.

After calling a spade a spade, time to call an ace an ace; The Abu Gharib tortures; rumoured to be with the direct knowledge and support of the govt. of the United States Of America has been frowned upon by human rights groups worldwide. Those who do not condemn the attack on the United States cannot condemn the abu gharib tortures as well for that would be having double standards. The only law to deal with lawlessness is lawlessness itself. The abuses I presume happened not solely on the sadistic whims of the American’s but after lengthy psychoanalysis of the prisoners. To get the requisite information, the spirit of the prisoners needed to be broken and that was the reason for their humiliation and hence the tortures though unethical were legitimate..the ends justify the means.

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I am the king of the world and hence by default I am the king of the blogs as well but alas the peasants don’t reason so and as ludicrous as it may seem I am embroiled in a tournament to rightly reclaim what is already mine. I shall refrain from linking to the judges viz. Bad Example, News from the great beyond, Smarter Cop, Ogre to gain favour in their books for I tread the moral high-ground in my quest for the crown.

Am already leading by a huge margin in the polls; my royal sycophants have done their job quite well and will be rightly rewarded at the opportune time. The next hurdle it seems before I retake my crown is to answer a challenge question which is to “Explain the theory of blogativity.”; I shall do this by quoting the essay of a great personality on the said topic; namely myself.

The theory of blogativity was formulated by the late professor Albert ‘Eyestrain’ (rumour has it that the professor got the nickname as a result of his peeping through keyholes, well that’s another post another day).

This theory simply put in layman’s terms would be that, as blogging reaches the speed of light, relevance reaches zero.
i.e. When B = L, R=0 Where B denotes blogging, L denotes speed of light and R is for relevance.

But the testing of the hypothesis is quite difficult for the requisites of the same cannot be achieved under laboratory conditions. So in such a circumstance the only solution is to extrapolate results from the universal truths already accepted by the scientific community viz.

• Light is faster than Sound
• In Blogging, one ‘voices’ or ’speaks’ out ones thoughts

So when one blogs at the speed of light, you see before you think. As your thought is based on the little voices in your head and since light is faster that sound, you will see before your hear. Hence the mathematical probability of you seeing wrong is 99.63%; for your cognition process would be initiated before the little voices in your head have time to form the right  image that you ought to see which results in irrelevance i.e. R=0; in other words relevance becomes zero. Thus the hypothesis is tested successfully and the professor’s theory is proven accurately.

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A friend of mine once commented that driving a vehicle with an automatic gear is like sleeping with a prostitute as there is no thrill in it. He could not have been farther from the truth, however being the ultimate gentleman that I am, a visit to a courtesan has never been on the ‘to do’ list (pun intended) so I cannot dissect my friends analogy but however let me pen it down vis-a-vis my own experiences. For me driving a vehicle ( I have to be politically correct for a vehicle might be a car, a truck, a SUV, or even the Mini Cooper lol) driving with an automatic gear is akin to going hunting with the game all tied up for you to shoot… whats the fun in it if all the action is taken out… I digress, but I hate killing animals, killing two legged homos err homo sapiens would be more to my taste. When I buy a vehicle (being politically correct again) I prefer it to be loaded with all the goodies a la Power windows, keyless entry, remote boot, power rear view mirrors and what not.. but unfortunately with all these goodies comes extra baggage viz the automatic gear. Now where does it say that a person who wants all the automotive comforts is a sissy and would not prefer a manual gear. Most all the top end models come loaded but alas with automatic gear; there is no option to convert it to manual gear. To be honest, there are vehicles which let you do this as an option but the price to fun ratio is comparatively steep and hence my reluctance. There are people who want all the comforts of a modern vehicle and yet want to enjoy the thrills in a manual gear, so car manufactures I implore, make this an affordable option.

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Dubbed ‘the fastest Indian on wheels’ by the media, Narain Karthikayan;  takes one stride up the escalator and joins Jordan. Well in a country that is so bloody focussed on a sport as obtuse as cricket, the omens are good for formula one as with the induction of an Indian in the F1 circuit the interest for the same will be augmented… but alas this is where the good part ends for me. I can never root for my country-man as though I am an Indian by birth, I am a tifosi by choice… I shall never laud him on as long as his eyes are not red, as long as he is not inflicted by scarlet fever; as long as the prancing horse is not tattooed on his bi-ceps (F1 drivers have to be puny to reduce the total weight of the car, so your ceps will do fine); as long as he doesn’t sit behind the wheel of Scuderia Ferrari you my friend are just another back-marker for Schumi to overtake…. Ferrari I love you !!

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Reverse racism is a misnomer, the term reverse racism should imply the opposite of racism i.e. no racism … but alas its a crazy world out there and it is not so.. it is just another extension of racism wherein the minority is racist with respect to the majority. I happened to recall the usage of this term while reading about the Micheal Jackson trial. I am not passing judgement on the trial per se.. that is to be decided by the court on the prima facie evidence but the Jackson clan insinuating that Micheal is being persecuted only because he is a ‘black’ is reverse racism in full swing… I hate this practise of playing the race card at the drop of a hat. Racism exists in all forms and in all colours, majority being racist against the minority and vice versa but when its orchestrated by the minority, directed against the majority; mums the word as no one wants to offend the minority even if its detrimental to their own welfare..this appeasement of the minorites has to stop as I for one am against all forms of racism… and before you label me as a Caucasian skin-head let me just remind you that I am of Asian origin, from the Republic of India and proud of it mate.

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